In Understanding Your Grief, Alan D. Wolfelt describes touchstones
as the “signs that let you know you are on the right path.” He considers
these markers also to be “wisdom teachings” – when relied upon
and practiced consciously – that prevent you from getting lost on the
journey. For example, one of Wolfelt’s touchstones is “Nurture Yourself.”
During grief or any major upset in our lives, it is an important
point to remember. Nurturing ourselves helps us value and find
compassion for ourselves, no matter what has happened. Self-care
strengthens our spirit as we find the courage to do whatever it takes
to find support and make healthy changes. Caring about ourselves
sends a signal to our souls that we are not abandoning ourselves, that
we are worth the trouble, and that we won’t let ourselves completely
lose the way.
Being in a state of unknowing is not the same as losing our way.
When we’ve lost our way completely, we probably have been abandoning
ourselves for a long time. On the other hand, a place of unknowing
can include waiting for clarity or the next thing to be revealed. We
may or may not already have a sense of direction of where we’re heading,
but we may have a sense of trust and peace, nonetheless. In the
frame of self-care, we’re more likely to see our options more clearly:
what we can and cannot do, what we need to surrender, and what we
might decide to do now or later. Journaling our experiences and returning
to their important lessons will provide a pattern of unfolding
that begins to show us how the Divine operates in our individual lives.
In psychology, an anchor traditionally refers to a memory that continues to illicit pain. In going back, you have an opportunity to see yourself with compassion instead of the old ingrained judgments that continue to speak and generate fear around that time of your life, such as: “You’re bad” (i.e., I’m stained for life); “You’re not worthy of this love” (wait until they see the real me); “You really messed up” (I will never be whole); or “You will never get over this” (I will never experience freedom from this).
Let’s say a negative memory about a situation at work or elsewhere
frequently occupies your conscious mind. A place to start might be
to validate your openness to change, your budding goodwill toward
others, or your growing desire for personal integrity in spite of your
errors being exposed. Working through this memory in your journal
can help you take that step toward freedom, as you release yourself
and continue to recognize this memory no longer reflects who you are
now. When we take positive action to correct our judgmental attitudes
towards others as well as ourselves, we become more vulnerable and
honest. Using the journaling process as a spiritual tool, we come to
be more in touch with our true self, the parts of us that are vulnerable,
human, and willing to be changed.
Questions for Journaling
- Who or what do you need to lovingly release or place in your Higher Power’s hands today?
- Has something come up from your past that wants to be acknowledged? It could be something joyful or sad, or something important that just needs your acknowledgement.
- If it’s a difficult thing, is there someone safe with whom you can share whatever comes out in your journal?
- Is there something you need to do for yourself – a ritual or celebration, perhaps – that would help you acknowledge whatever came up?
- While reading this blog post, what words, phrases, sentences or paragraph stood out for you, and why? Be as detailed as you can in your response.
- What do you need to help you create your journaling practice? What does that look like for you?
- What fears or other feelings came up as you wrote about the significant happenings of yesterday, or the day ahead? What positive images or thoughts arose?
- Describe any recent experience of knowing, seeing, hearing, sensing, embodying or feeling how the Divine Spirit is being revealed in your life. Afterward, circle or highlight any words, phrases or sentences that are “speaking” to you. Journal about them to see what is being more deeply revealed.
Copyright © 2022 Jo-Ellen A. Darling. Excerpt from Journaling as a Spiritual Path: A Journey to Your True Self and the Divine | All rights reserved.
Journaling as a Spiritual Path 