This is a typical question posed by many religious and spiritual writers. Oftentimes it aims to help us identify our sin. But I wanted to take a different look at this question, to answer it in a way that is perhaps more hopeful and life-giving.
At first look, what stands between God and me today is my focus on smaller things, like a new kitchen island and the details I need to document in a retreat I’m giving in July. It’s my to-do list, which is never finished and seems to grow longer with each passing day. It’s my distractedness with searching on Google and praying spontaneously for others on any given day. It is my addiction to reading something political first thing in the morning. It’s my need to balance my self-care with caring and doing for others. And yet …
As I’ve grown in my spiritual journey in the second half of my life, I can see that God is part of all these things. Like my deep gratitude for that kitchen island which we waited almost three years to get. Like the aliveness I feel as I hone in on the details of the retreat so that others can have the greatest opportunity to experience the joy and surprise of Spirit! Spirit is constantly present in my to-do-list as she helps me set its priorities, usually with people’s needs – including my own – near the top of that list. God is even in my Google searching as I come to understand things better and not be so afraid, such as my recent diagnosis of macular degeneration. And for sure, it is God that brings to mind and kindles my desire to pray for others. I sense that God cares about the political and social landscape I read about each morning, calling me to think about the issues and what part I may take in them, and that it is God for sure who reminds me not to neglect myself, for how can I serve others if I do not have a will to manage my own needs and self-care? And as far as constantly thinking about things I need to be doing rather actually doing them? Well, that could be God helping me to sift through all the demands in my life, guiding me on which things to release and which are truly the most important things, such as organizing a brunch for a dear friend who is moving across the country, and planning a party for my mom’s 88th birthday – even though I have a thousand other things to do.
So, what is standing between God and me today? I think it boils down to this:
It’s the poor, good, or even better choices I will make; the opportunities I will miss, embrace, or intentionally ignore; the awareness I will have and the presence I will give to others, self, and God – or not. It’ll be the present moment at which I stand, the sacred space which I am ever invited to recognize, and the love that Spirit is always offering in any situation. Together God and I discern the way, and at times I make mistakes – even regrettable ones – but even those God can turn around. Because I have learned that God can use all for good.
So the most important choice I can make today is to get out of living “solely on my own” and join God in the great dance of living my life.
Journaling as a Spiritual Path 